Thanksgiving... Piece of Cake!

The holidays make me do crazy things. Shopping at midnight to save $30 is one of those things. Yeah, that's not as hardcore as I used to be... Breaking night on the same night every year, standing in line for 7 or 8 hours in the bitter cold... Florida is always hot, their winters are fairly mild for the most part. But that one night that I spend outside is always in the 40's. 

But I digress. 

I'm not here to talk about shopping and the way retailers are missing the whole concept of Black Friday by opening doors for sales at 8 p.m. Thanksgiving night. 

Even though I could totally talk about that for hours.

Shopping... That is. 

No, I'm here to talk about Thanksgiving! Which coincidentally, is (checks calendar) TODAY! 

Holy crap I am slacking! You should have had this recipe days ago! Oh well, it's here now. I hope you have the ingredients or a Wally World nearby because this is the dessert to have after a Thanksgiving feast.

Matter of fact, I take that back and replace it with a public statement not condoning the action of going to Walmart on Thanksgiving Day. Odds are if you don't trip over sad Black Friday shoppers camping out, you'll probably get swung at by a mother as you reach for the last bag of pecans. 

Praline Pumpkin Cake: (adapted from here)

                          1/2 cup ~ Butter

                          1/3 cup ~ Heavy/Whipping Cream

                             1 cup ~ Brown Sugar

                       1 1/2 cup ~ Pecans, roughly chopped

                             1 box ~ Moist Yellow Cake Mix

                       1 1/4 cup ~ Pumpkin Puree

                          1/2 cup ~ Milk

                          1/3 cup ~ Vegetable Oil

                           4 each ~ Eggs

              1 1/4 teaspoon ~ Pumpkin Pie Spice

                 1/4 teaspoon ~ Cinnamon

                 1/4 teaspoon ~ Nutmeg, freshly grated

                    1 container ~ Cream Cheese Frosting

                 3/4 teaspoon ~ Pumpkin Pie Spice

                 1/4 teaspoon ~ Cinnamon

                                          Caramel Topping to drizzle 

Notes:

• Confucius say: You gonna need some cake pans if you gonna wanna make some cake.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You don't even have to say it even though you probably already did. I mean, it's not a secret, it's right there in black and white: a box of cake mix. 

No, you're right. I always try to stay away from ready made or easy boxed stuff and try to show you how you can harness your inner chef. But let's be real. It's freaking Thanksgiving. You got a ton of other stuff to do and if you'll be able to make something like this cake out of a box, I think we can all turn our heads as we open said box and pour its mysterious contents inside of our mixers. 

Besides, I really don't care if you judge me about this. Have you seen that cake?! That Betty Crocker broad knows what the heck she's doing:

• Firstly as most of the time sometimes, turn on your oven to 325. Then spray two 8 or 9 inch round cake pans with cooking spray. Next, in sauce pot put in the butter, heavy cream,  extract and brown sugar. Set it on low heat and stir until the butter melts. But don't just sit there watching the butter melt. I know how cool it looks but you got stuff to do. 

• Go and give your pecans a rough chop, setting aside about 1/4 cup for the top of the cake. 

• When you're done with that and the butter is melted and everything is incorporated, split the mixture evenly between the two cake pans and sprinkle the pecans over it. You want to get a nice even layer so make sure you split your pecans evenly.

• Next, dust off your mixer. Add everything in the bowl: pumpkin, milk, oil, eggs, spices and the (shudders) cake mix. Set it on low-medium-ish and let it do what a mixer does for about 2 minutes. 

• Once the batter is ready, caaaaarefully spoon it or just let it glide into the cake pans. You want to make sure you go nice and slow because you don't want it disturbing the brown sugar and pecan mixture. Divide the batter evenly among the two pans, and then pop them into the oven for about 43 minutes. When you lightly touch the center and it springs back (instead of breaking through and coating your finger in magma-like cake batter), then it's done. 

• Set the pans to cool on a cooling rack for about 4 or 5 minutes. After that, it's safe to carefully pull the cake away from the edges of the pan and then flip it over to your hands where you can transfer it back to the cooling rack. Was that confusing? Tough cookies, read it again slowly.

While the cake is cooling for the hour that it should cool, take the... Oh, I forgot to tell you. I don't know if you noticed, but we're also using store bought cream cheese frosting. 

Look, whoever you're baking this for isn't going to give two pumpkin seeds about how you made it or if it was from scratch. So I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it. 

• Anyway, take your container of cream cheese frosting and add the cinnamon and pumpkin pie spice directly to it. Stir it until it's incorporated. 

• Once the cakes are cooled, put one pecan side up onto wherever you're going to want to keep it. Take half the cream cheese mixture and plop it onto the cooled cake and spread it around. Once you did that, take the other cake and place it on top pecan side up. Plop the other half of the cream cheese onto that one and spread it out evenly..

• Drizzle some caramel sauce on top and sprinkle the 1/4 of a cup of pecans you set aside earlier, then stand back and remember to wipe your drool.

So there it is. What could possibly be my favorite cake ever. Everything about it is spectacular and I don't think there is a better way to welcome the holiday season.

Speaking of holiday's... Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Seven Days Without Chocolate Makes One Weak

______________________________

Desserts are like mistresses. They are bad for you. So if you are having one, you might as well have two.                                                                                                                                                      ~ Chef  Alain Ducasse

______________________________

I’m a sweet guy. When I go out to eat at a new place, the first thing I do is check out the dessert menu. Ha, did you think I was talking about being nice? Well, that too, but I’m also a sucker for sweets, I can’t help myself. And no matter how much I eat before it, there is always room for dessert. I have no shame in admitting this here, but after a big meal, the server asks if there is any room for dessert, I sometimes have to hold back. But the only reason is I don’t want to embarrass the wife, if it was just me I’d tell that server, “damn straight there’s room! Bring on your finest freezer burnt ice cream and luke warm ‘freshly baked’ brownie!” But no, I show restraint, especially when they come back with, “oh, full huh? [harhar – stupid server laugh]” Dude, you don’t know me…

I’m crazy about a good dessert. I know you can’t really be surprised by having the same cheesecake all the time or a Pizookie, but damn if they don’t make you happy on the inside. I get a little too crazy sometimes though. I feel fairly comfortable with you guys so I’ll go ahead and confess something… Sometimes, when sharing whatever dessert with my wife, I get a little touchy. Like if she takes too much crust off a cheesecake, or if she eats more brownie than ice cream, therefore throwing off the brownie to ice cream ratio that is left when she is done, I go on the offensive. I love my wife, which is why when she does things like that I give a playful jab with my fork or spoon, you know, as a little warning. Sometimes she disregards my subtle hints, so I have to get drastic and move the plate out of her reach and put her on timeout while I fix the imbalance she caused. This in turn leads to her threatening to shove her utensil of choice into whichever part of my body she feels would prove her dominance best. That’s usually when I realize I’ve broken an unwritten law: Taking (most of the time) chocolate away from a woman.

But I digress...

Well here I am, giving it back. With this insanely easy recipe, we don’t have to go out and deal with pissed off servers and overpriced and/or overcooked food. We could stay home, in our underwear, and enjoy our own Molten Chocolate Cake.

Yeah, I said it… Molten… Chocolate… Cake.

Just rolls off the tongue. Like ...Lava


Silky, gooey... Chocolate Lava.

It’s one of the most decadent, rich, and visually appealing desserts today. If you’ve never had one before, you should be paraded down a crowded street to be poked and laughed at. Seriously, what have you been doing with your life? Well no matter, there are no more excuses. No more, “It’s too difficult to make” or “I have no kitchen experience”. A 10 year old can probably follow the recipe and make this. So get off it, and get cracking! There’s huge payoffs that come with knowing how to make one of these. Depending on the situation, it’s practically guaranteed praise at dinner parties, or unconditional love and devotion from your significant other or maybe even another date with a special someone (you still have to play your cards right, I can't do all the work). So just trust me and you can thank me later:


Molten Chocolate Cake     (adapted from here)

               1 cup ~ Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
 ½ cup (1 stick) ~ Butter, cubed
    1 tablespoon ~ Cocoa Powder
               1 cup ~ Powdered Sugar
       1 teaspoon ~ Vanilla Extract
      ½ teaspoon ~ Cinnamon
              2 each ~ Eggs
              2 each ~ Egg Yolks
              ½ cup ~ All-Purpose Flour

Simple stuff, eh? If you want to throw in your favorite liqueur, just replace the Vanilla with what you’d like. This recipe is going to make about 4 individually sized cakes.

I used some Soup Crocks that I’ve had for a while now. The recipe filled up the crocks a little less than halfway which is more than enough because they were pretty big around. You can find something cheaper, but this is just to give you an idea. They’re great for entertaining, not to mention the presentation compliments the special feel the cake brings to the table.

Another note before you get unimaginably excited to make this: Molten Lava Cakes usually get their signature lava-ness by taking them out of the oven before they’re fully cooked. This means there is a slight chance the eggs in the batter may cause you to experience the molten lava more than once, if you know what I’m sayin’. If you’re the type to eat your eggs over easy you probably don’t care about stuff like this, but if you’re pregnant or are really cautious about consuming raw eggs, then I’d regretfully skip this one and wait till I can do a safer recipe. Or you can go somewhere else to find one and risk hurting my feelings.

All that said, my wife is allergic to eggs and she was perfectly fine after eating this! So it really is up to you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

• Enough talk! Heat your oven to 415°. Put the Chocolate Chips and the butter in a microwave safe bowl and microwave on high for 1 minute. Whisk until the chocolate is smooth and completely melted. Then add the Cocoa Powder, Sugar, Vanilla, and Cinnamon, and whisk till incorporated. Let it cool down a bit before you add the eggs unless you’re practicing for a chocolaty breakfast in the morning. You can take this time to butter your ramekins, soufflé cups, muffin pan or whatever it is you’re using. 

I added the Cocoa Powder in with the chips because I was feeling frisky

• If you think it’s cool enough, go ahead and add the eggs and mix well, then add the flour until the batter is smooth. Fill up your vessel of choice a little less than half way, place on a sheet tray, and put it in the oven for 13 minutes (10 minutes if you’re using a muffin pan)

• When they’re ready, the edges should be done and cake-like. But the center should still feel moist. Let them rest for about 1 minute. If you want to transfer them to a plate, run a knife along the edge and flip it on to a plate, but if you’re hardcore, eat it out of what you baked it in. Unless it’s a muffin pan, that’ll just be awkward.

So you see what I was talking about? Amazing, isn’t it? It looks like a cake, but when you first stab it, the chocolate oozes out as if you just violently murdered it, and you start thinking, “oh no, I killed it, look, it’s dying. It’s losing so much chocolate blood, I’m sorry, cake.” But then you taste it and you’re all like, “OMG, die you unbelievably amazing cake. Die, die ,die. I’m a vampire and want to suck your chocolate blood.”

Don't laugh at me. That's going to be you!